


I'm A Wreck ☆ SnowBaz

by winterfxlcon



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Book 2: Wayward Son, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 16:53:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19404316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfxlcon/pseuds/winterfxlcon
Summary: Baz dropped his head onto the edge of Simon's bed, next to Simon's limp hand."I'd take all of your stupidity if it meant I could have you back."~Or, when Goblins put Simon in a coma, Baz isn't sure what he's supposed to do with himself. He settles for never leaving Simon's side.





	1. Part 1

"Hey Simon. I don't know if you can hear me. The doctors said you could. But they're Normals, and you know how stupid they can be. It's Baz, by the way. If you didn't get that." Baz took a shaky breath and grabbed Simon's hand. 

"Fuck, Snow, I'm a wreck. I'm never a wreck. You of all people know that. I'm-I'm supposed to be the composed one out of the two of us. You're supposed to be the wreck." 

"Please don't leave me here alone." 

________________

"Bunce stopped by today. She's okay. Or she's good at acting like she is. She's doing better than I am. She spelled her hair blue. I wish you were awake to see it."

"God, your tail is getting annoying. I didn't think I'd have to keep spelling it invisible now that you're... yknow. I don't know why I thought that." Baz gently moved the covers down, wrapping Simons tail around his hand.

"I'm not sure what to do now that you're not at home. Everything I did I did for you. I didn't realise that until you got put in this bloody coma. At the flat, I'd spend time with you. Almost every time I left the flat, except for hunting, I'd go with you. Or I'd be doing something for you. I just- I miss you Snow."

"This whole thing... I'm a fucking mess. See what this is doing to me? I'm swearing like a Normal. I don't- I don't know what to do with myself."

"I hope you can't hear me. I don't want you to know what this is doing to me. You'd hold this over my head for the rest of our bloody lives."

"Come back to me soon, Simon." 

____________________

"Crowley, this is all my fault. If I knew- If I knew the Goblins still had that stupid fucking king deal, I would have put more protection spells on you. On the flat. I would have stayed closer."

"I should've thought... I should've thought. I should have taken just a single second to think about it. You're the one that's not supposed to think. Christ, Snow, your stupidity is rubbing off on me." Baz dropped his head onto the edge of Simon's bed, next to Simon's limp hand.

"I'd take all of your stupidity if it meant I could have you back." 

________________

"We had a deal, Snow. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. This isn't how it's supposed to end."

"You're the Chosen One, Simon. You're my Chosen one."

"Come back to me. Please. Please come back to me." Baz felt tears welling up in his eyes, and he forcefully blinked them away. Like hell he's going to let Simon hear him cry. Not until the day he fucking dies. -That is, if Simon could even hear him. Could he hear him?-

"You're the Humdrum, Snow. The most powerful fucking being in the Magikal world. How could you- How could you just let this happen."

"Fuck, no. You didn't let it happen. You'd never let this happen. Right?"

"It doesn't matter. Please, just... just come back."

_________________

Baz didn't say anything this visit. He just sat there, his right hand wrapped around Simon's tail and his left resting on top of his unconscious boyfriends.

He sat and observed Simon, frowning. His skin was sickeningly pale, almost matching Baz's. He looked dead. There was nothing to convince Baz that he wasn't dead, other than the fact that he could faintly hear the blood still pumping in Simon's body. Well, there was the heart monitor, but Baz would never trust any Normal medical equipment.

Baz was a mess. He had never been a bigger mess in his life. He didn't even feel this helpless when he tried to light himself on fire in the woods. 

Protecting Simon is his job. It always has been. He's supposed to be the one keeping Simon out of trouble. He failed. The one thing he was supposed to do, he failed. 

"Baz? You look horrid." 

Baz lifted his head to look at Penelope. "Always a pleasure, Bunce." 

"I'm serious. When was the last time you ate? Or slept?" 

"I don't know."

"Come on, you need to go hunt. And then sleep." 

"I don't take orders from you, Bunce."

"Well you don't have a choice. Simon wouldn't want you to sit here and die next to him. Go home. Get something to eat. Get a good night's sleep. I'll be here with him, don't worry. Go take care of yourself. And Crowley, take a shower. You reek." 

Baz sighed, untangling his hand from Simon's tail, and tried to push himself out of his chair, only to fall right back into it. 

"Fuck, Baz. Here." Penelope walked farther into the room, holding an arm out for Baz. Baz hated this. Hated looking weak in front of Penelope. Hated being weak. He stared at her arm for a few moments, and when he realised she wasn't going to budge, gripped her forearm and pulled himself up. 

"Take a shower here. I'll go find you something to eat while you're in there." Penelope lead Baz over to the bathroom that was in Simon's hospital room. 

"But Simo-" 

"He'll be fine Basilton. Do you need help getting in?"  
Baz shot Penelope a pointed glare. Yes he needed help getting in. He needed help standing for Christ's sake. But no, he was not going to let her help him. 

"Fine. I'll be back with food." Penelope walked out of the room quickly. With purpose. 

Baz collapsed against the doorframe to the bathroom, struggling to stay upright. Eventually, he managed to get as far as shutting the bathroom door and leaning against the counter. 

He tried to step towards the shower and crumbled to the floor, letting out a small noise of pain. That's where Penelope found him twenty minutes later. 

"Christ, Baz," Penelope kneeled on the bathroom floor, adjusting Baz so he was halfway on her lap. Baz couldn't bring himself to snap at her. She pulled a rat out of a bag that Baz hadn't seen her carry in. 

"Here. Eat." 

Typically, Baz would tell her to sod off while he ate. Or at least look away. But he didn't care anymore. He was practically in her lap, all of his dignity was gone anyways. 

Penelope had somehow managed to capture fourteen rats while she was out. Baz drained them all to the last drop. Then he ate nine Big Macs. 

As soon as he was able to, he pushed himself off of Penelope and slumped against the tub. "Thank you." 

"Listen here, Pitch. You are not going to die on Simon. He's going to wake up and you're going to be right here when it happens, okay? I swear to Merlin I will go to the depths of hell to bring you back here. So get your act together. Got it?" 

Who knew Bunce could be so....scary? Short Penelope Bunce who still wears the black buckle shoes that she's had since she was in her first year of Watford.

Baz didn't have to reply. He wasn't going to. "Now, go back to the flat, take a shower, go to bed, and get your arse back here." 

Baz stood, helping Penelope off the floor. She had blood on her skirt. Baz frowned, focusing on the bathroom door behind Penelope's head rather than on the blood staining her clothes. 

He hated feeding in front of people. He had only done it once before, and it was in the clock tower after they had defeated The Mage. He had refused to let anyone see it happen again. But there he was, standing in the middle of a hospital bathroom, watching Penelope Bunce of all people scrub blood off her clothes because he had fed while laying in her lap. 

Instead of apologizing, or even offering to help clean the blood with one of the many cleaning spells he knew, Baz brushed past her and out of the bathroom. 

On his way out of the hospital room, Baz pressed a soft kiss to Simon's temple. "I'll be back soon." 

_______________

"I'm back."

"You still look awful."

"Sod off. How's he doing?"

"Same as when you left."

Baz sighed and collapsed into the chair next to Penelope, twisting Simon's tail around his hand. "He's not doing any better?"

"No. But he's not doing any worse either, so its not that a bad."

"Not that bad? Bunce he's in a fucking coma. We don't know when or even if he'll wake up and-" Baz took a deep breath to calm himself, unclenching his fist from where it was curled in his lap.

"I just- I just...."

Penelope, taking herself and Baz by surprise, leaned over Baz's chair and pulled him into a one armed hug. "I know. I know. He's going to wake up, okay? This is Simon we're talking about. He's too damn stubborn to die, you know that. He'll come back," she whispered, squeezing him tightly.

Baz would never in a million years admit it, but it helped. It really did. "Thank you, Penelope."

Just then, the door opened, and Baz sprung away from Penelope like a frightened cat. "I'm sorry it took so long Penny, I got the first flight I could and- Oh, hello Baz. What's he doing here?" Agatha stood in the doorway, frowning.

"I told you on the phone, remember? Baz is a good guy? Him and Simon are dating? God, I've only told you a thousand times. Here, sit down." Penelope spelled a chair next to Baz's, and he gave her a pointed look.

"Of for Christs sake, stand up!" Penelope dragged Baz out of his chair, making him wince slightly when he cut his palm on Simon's tail. Penelope took the spot previously occupied by Baz, letting Baz sit in the chair by Simon's head. 

The three of them sat in a thick silence, all staring at Simon's unconscious form. 

The last time Baz and Penelope had seen Agatha, she was running away from the biggest battle in the history of mages. Running away from the dying goat heard that had just saved her life. Telling them to run with her.  
It had been a few years since that happened. This was the first time Penelope had even reached out to her since. 

"What even happened?" Agatha asked after a few minutes. 

"Goblins," Baz answered, his voice thick. He hated thinking about it. Of all things, it was a goblin that bested Simon Snow. A bloody goblin. 

"They're still stuck on the king thing?" 

"No fucking shit, Wellbelove," Baz growled, clenching his jaw. 

"Baz, hey, calm down. She was just asking a question." Penelope placed a hand on Baz's forearm, giving him one of the looks she usually reserved for Simon. You're being thick, the look said. You're being thick and you're going to regret whatever comes out of your mouth next, but I care about you so I won't say that outloud. 

Baz pinched his eyebrows together, slumping forward slightly. Why was Penelope being so nice to him? Sure, they were friendly. They spent almost every day around eachother, considering the fact that they lived in the same flat with Simon. But she was treating Baz like he was... Well, like he was Simon. 

And Baz wasn't sure why, but despite how much it helped calm him down, it pissed him off. 

___________________

As soon as Agatha left, Baz rounded on Penelope.

"Would you quit it?"

"Quit what?"

"Treating me like I'm him! I'm not... I'm not him! Just because he's not here doesn't mean you can replace him with me."

"What? Baz that's ridiculous-"

"No, Penelope, it's not. You're treating me like I'm Simon! You let me lay in your lap and feed. You're trying to calm me down every time I get upset. You... you hugged me. I'm not Simon!"

"Baz, please calm down. I didn't-"

"Stop! Stop telling me to calm down!"

"Baz he can hear you!" Penelope shouted, now fuming. "Do you really think that Simon wants us to fight? I'm not treating you like you're Simon, I'm treating you like you're a friend! Because I don't want Simon to listen to you falling apart! I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for him! All of this is for him, you dunce!"

That hit Baz like a train. He stood there staring at her, and then collapsed into the plastic chair by Simon's bed, frowning.

"I'm not- You think I was trying to replace him with you?" Penelope asked softly, leaning against the far wall of Simon's hospital room.

"I don't know what I thought."

"Oh."

"I'm gonna....I'm gonna go. I need to shower and sleep. I'll come back to check on him in a few days. Text me if you have any updates." And with that, Penelope was gone.

"Sometimes I wish you could hear me, so you could know how much I miss you. How much I want you back. But times like this, I really hope you can't. I'm sorry, Simon." Baz dropped his head onto the bed next to Simon's hand, his cut hand still gripping his boyfriends tail. 

"I'm so sorry." 

_____________

Agatha came to visit again the next day. She sat on the other side of Simon's bed to avoid sitting next to Baz.

"Stop that," Agatha said suddenly, glaring at the vampire across from her.

"Stop what?"

"Whatever you're doing!"

"I'm not doing anything, Wellbelove."

"You're always doing something."

"How do you know? You haven't been here for almost four years." 

"Because I know you." 

"What, we talked once in the Wavering Wood and all the sudden you know me? Right." 

"You're plotting something." 

"Yeah? Enlighten me, Agatha. What am I plotting?" Baz, as calm as ever, leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. He wasn't actually calm. He wanted to scream at Agatha. How dare she disappear for four years, not even once contacting anyone, and then come back and act like she knows who Baz is. 

"You- You're- You're probably going to kill Simon, right? Now that he's in a coma, he's defenseless!" 

"Yes, Wellbelove. You caught me. I've been dating Simon for four years, I put myself through the torture of living with him for four extra years, just so I could hire Goblins to put him in a coma so I could kill him. You really are a bright one."

Agatha huffed and grabbed her purse off of the floor next to her chair, stomping out of the room. 

"I see why you and her were together for so long, Snow. You're both paranoid and cranky," Baz tried to joke lightly, but he was frowning at Simon's unconscious form. 

"I can't do this without you, Simon. All I have is you and Bunce and we both know she can't stand me for long. Or maybe I can't stand her. Please come back. Please," Baz whispered, his voice breaking. 

"Great, now I'm crying. You hear that, Snow? I'm crying over you. Fuck. Fuck this. Come back." 

_______________

"Someone's going to see his tail if you keep holding it like that. This is a Normal hospital, you know."  
Baz looked up at the voice, furrowing his brows at the sight of his Aunt Fiona.

"Why are you here?"

"Your friend called. The short one. Said you weren't feeding. Here," Fiona threw a writhing paper bag at him. Baz peeked in and saw the rats, but didn't take them out of the bag.

"I don't want you near him."

"Calm down, Baz. You know I don't want to hurt him anymore."

"I don't trust you."

"Really? After wanting to kill him your whole life, you can turn around and date him, but you won't even believe that I don't want to hurt him?"

She had a point. But Baz still didn't want her near him. "Well, thank you for stopping by. And thanks for the food."

Fiona stared at Baz, her eyebrows pinched together. She wanted to protest. To stay. But even she knew she had no business here. "Text me if you need anything, okay?"

Baz nodded, and when Fiona realised he wouldn't say anything else, she left the room. As soon as she was gone, Baz squeezed Simon's limp hand gently and then locked himself in the bathroom with his food.

He fed quickly and without mess, and then went behind the hospital to throw the dead rats in the dumpster. When he got back to Simon's hospital room, he stopped dead in his tracks. He could have sworn Simon's blanket was in a different place than it was when he left.

Baz raced out of the room, grabbing the first nurse he saw. "Excuse me, has anyone been in Simon Snows room, room 112, in the last fifteen minutes?"

"I don't think so sir, is there a problem?"

"Its just.. he's in a coma, right? And I left the room and I came back and now his blanket is in a different position than it was before."

"Let me go get Doctor Brown and we'll go check it out, okay? If you go back to his room we'll be there in a few minutes."

Baz nodded and quickly walked back to Simon's room, pacing back and forth anxiously. Could Simon be waking up? Baz came out of his thoughts for a few minutes so he could spell Simon's tail invisible, and then resumed his pacing.

A few minutes later, a doctor and the nurse Baz had talked to minutes prior walked into the room. "We're just going to run a few standard tests to see if he might be waking up, but don't hold your breath," the nurse said while the doctor began the tests. 

Baz watched the doctor move some of Simon's limbs, frowning. "Taylor, come here," Doctor Brown said suddenly. The nurse, Taylor, did as Doctor brown asked. 

"Watch this." The doctor put one of her fingers in Simon's palm, wrapping Simon's fingers around it. After a few moments, Simon squeezed the doctors hand lightly. 

"That's a sign of early responses, right Doctor Brown?" 

"Yes. I want you and Doctor Raye to run some scans, see what's going on up there."

"Yes ma'am, I'm on it." 

Nurse Taylor started doing a bunch of things at once, and Baz cleared his throat softly, alerting the nurse of his presence. "Er, while you guys are doing that, where am I supposed to go?" 

"Go home, kid. Get some sleep, you look like you need it. Come back in the morning and we'll have results for you," Nurse Taylor said, and then turned back to what he was doing moments prior. 

Baz's frown deepened. He didn't want to go home. He wanted to be here. What if Simon woke up? What if they found something groundbreaking during the tests?

He knew that he was one of Simon's emergency contacts and he'd be called if something like that happened, but he didn't want to be gone. He didn't want Simon to wake up in an unfamiliar place with no one.

But the nurse wouldn't let him stay. None of them would. He had no choice but to go back to his flat.

When he got there, he didn't sleep. He took a shower and then paced around the house. Penelope yelled at him a few times to lay down, but he ignored her.

What if Simon woke up? He'd be alone. He'd be surrounded by Normals in an unfamiliar place. It'd be just like when Baz woke up in the coffin the numpties stuffed him in. Baz didn't want Simon to have to experience that. He wanted to be right by his side when he woke up.

The next morning, as soon Penelope would let him, Baz went back to the hospital. When he got to Simon's room, he wasn't sure if he was relieved or upset that Simon wasn't awake.

On one hand, he didn't have to wake up alone. On the other, he was still in a bloody coma.

Sighing, Baz spelled Simon's tail invisible and collapsed into the chair next to his head. "I think you can hear me now. I didn't believe them before. But now you're responding to touches and I... I don't know. I hope you can hear me." 

Baz gripped Simon's hand tightly in his, suppressing a gasp when Simon's fingers moved to wrap around his.

"Simon, you're so close to coming back. I don't know- I don't know why, but I can feel it. I know you're trying so hard to come back."

"I'm going be right here when you do."

"Years ago, at the Leavers Ball, I told you that you were the sun. My sun. I was wrong. You're my moon, Simon Snow. You brighten all of my darkest hours."

"I don't know why I said that. I don't know where I was going to go with that. I just- I love you, Simon. So much." 

_________


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "B-Baz?"
> 
> Baz's head shot up from where it was resting on the edge of Simon's bed. His grey eyes met striking blue ones and he let out a surprised sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

"B-Baz?"

Baz's head shot up from where it was resting on the edge of Simon's bed. His grey eyes met striking blue ones and he let out a surprised sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

"Simon?"

"Where am I? Why do I- What are these- How-" Simon reached down, trying to rip the tubes out of his arms and away from his face.

"Hey, no. Stop that, you need those." Baz stood up from his chair and reached over the bed to grab Simon's hand. When he was sure Simon wasn't going to try to rip the tubes out again, he leaned down to press his lips against Simon's. Which is when the door opened.

"He's awake! Why didn't you call one of the nurses! Oh my god!" A nurse ran into the room, and Baz had to quickly step away from Simon to avoid being knocked over.

After about an hour and a half, when all of the doctors and nurses had stopped flooding in and out of Simon's room, Baz was finally able to sit down next to him.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't... I don't know. What...what happened?" Simon frowned deeply. It was hard to think and form coherent sentences. His brain felt like alphabet soup. Everything was all mushy and mixed up. 

Baz frowned, gripping Simon's hand tightly in his. "The Goblins. They- He- They tried to- I should have-" Baz let out a frustrated noise, chewing on his lip.

"The Goblins? What? Did... Try to kill me?"

Baz nodded, unable to meet Simon's eyes. It was all his fault Simon was like this. Simon, who couldn't even remember why he was like this.

"Baz?"

Baz looked up at that, but focused his gaze on the mole on Simon's cheek instead of on his eyes.

"Are you... you okay?"

"Are you kidding me? You just got out of a bloody coma and you're asking me if I'm okay? Christ, Snow, you-"

"Baz."

"I'm okay now."

"Why did the nurses... why were they... I was sleeping?" 

"You were in a coma, Simon. For a month and a half." 

They sat in silence for a while, turning that over in their heads. Simon was in a coma for a month and a half. A month and a half. And he didn't even know it. 

"Baz? Could you- Could- Up here?" Simon asked suddenly, startling Baz.

"I might hurt you. The bed is small." 

"Please?" 

"But I might acciden-" 

"Baz I know that- You- know you won't. Please...here." 

Baz wanted to. Of course he wanted to. But he didn't want to hurt Simon. He could accidentally bump his head or rip a tube out or bump one of his broken ribs -another gift from the Goblins- or something even worse. 

On the other hand, though, he couldn't deny Simon what he wanted. Simon wanted Baz to lay next to him on the hospital bed? Fine. Simon wanted Baz to take over the world for him? Fine. Simon wanted Baz to jump off a building? Fine. Baz would do it. Baz would do anything.

So, he slid his shoes off and very slowly climbed onto the small hospital bed. Simon tried to adjust to the new position, wincing. "Whats wrong with... with me?" 

"Broken ribs. A few other things too but they're healed by now." 

Simon nodded, finally finding a position that didn't cause him agony. He was between Baz's legs now, his back pressed to the vampires chest. Baz carefully wrapped his arms around his boyfriends middle, resting his hands in Simon's lap. Simon picked one of Baz's hands up in his own, playing with his long fingers absent-mindedly. 

"I missed you. Thought you wouldn't come back," Baz whispered pressing his lips to the top of Simon's head.

"'M back." 

"And thank Merlin for that." 

______________

"Hey Simon?"

"Hm?"

"When you were...when you were in the coma, could you, er, hear me? When I was talking to you?"

"Sometimes I could hear bits and pieces. Other times I could hear clearly. A lot of the time I knew you were talking but I couldn't make out what you were saying at all."

"Did you hear- Uhm- What did you hear?"

"I heard you the first time you visited. And I heard when you were blaming yourself. I heard when Penny came and you...you couldn't get out of the chair. And I heard you and Penny fight. And you and Agatha argue... and I heard you crying. And the day you thought I was going to wake up. A few out other things. Did your aunt visit me?"

"She was bringing me food. So, you heard all of the important stuff. And some stuff I wish you didn't hear." 

"Baz... If something like this happens again, if I ever get hurt again, I don't want you to worry so much that you don't take care of yourself. It was agony listening to you that day and not being able to do anything. I heard- I heard you fall in the bathroom. And I wanted- All I wanted to do was wake up and help you. You can't- You can't do that. You can't let yourself die just because I'm hurt. "

"Okay."

"Promise me." 

"Okay." 

"Baz."

"I said okay." 

"Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch i swear to Merlin if you don't-" 

"I can't promise, Simon. I can't. If you ever... if this ever happens again, I'll be just like I was this time, maybe worse. When you were....I couldn't think. I couldn't leave you. I was so afraid that if I left something bad would happen to you. That's why I only left when I knew Bunce would be here. I can't promise I won't be like that again. "

"Baz, please. Please." 

"I can promise that I'll try." 

"I'll take it." Simon lifted Baz's hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it lightly. Baz smiled softly, kissing the mole on Simon's cheek. 

"There's not going to be a next time, though." 

"I mean, I hope not, but-" 

"No. No buts, Simon. There's not going to be a next time. I won't let it happen. Never again."

Simon just sighed, leaning into Baz. "When can I go back home?" 

"In a few days." 

"I want to go back now." 

"I know. I want you to too." 

"I miss my bed. And scraps." 

Scraps was their dog. Penelope and Simon would not stop bugging Baz until he agreed to get a dog, and now they had one. He was a black lab/pit bull mix, and although Baz would never admit it, he had grown to adore the puppy.

"When they run tests tomorrow, if the results are okay, I could always break you out of here." 

Simon giggled, yes, giggled, at that. "It's not a prison, Baz." 

"Bad food. Strongly encouraged to not leave your room. Not allowed to leave. Forced to wear a stupid outfit. Uncomfortable bed. No dog. Seems like a prison." 

"Mmm fair enough. Can you call the nurse?" 

"Why? What's wrong? Are you okay?" 

"Just want more pain meds. Ribs hurt." 

Baz nodded and pressed the little red button next to Simon's bed. Within about forty five seconds, a nurse had appeared in the doorway. 

"Is everything okay, Mr.Snow?" 

"Is it possible for you to up the dosage of his pain meds?" Baz asked for Simon, who was starting to drift off in Baz's arms. 

"Of course, I'll get right on that." The nurse walked farther into the room and messed with a few machines, "that should be good. Is that all you need?" 

"Yes, thank you." 

The nurse nodded and walked out of the room, shutting the door softly. "'M sleepy," Simon slurred, grabbing a bit of Baz's t-shirt in his fist. 

"Go to sleep then, I'll stay right here." 

"Mmmkay, gnight."

Baz didn't say anything. He just pressed his lips against the top of Simon's head, tightening his grip on his waist slightly, but not enough to hurt him. 

And then Simon was out. 

_______________

"Penelope brought a bag of stuff while you were getting your tests done. The doctors say you're fine so I don't know why they're still keeping you. I asked one of the nurses that has been monitoring you and even she agrees it's okay for you to go home. You still want to go home, right?"

Simon nodded.

"Okay, I'll help you get changed then. Here," Baz handed Simon the bag Penelope brought, and helped him into the wheelchair next to his bed. He couldn't really walk yet. Neither of them really understood why. The doctors and physical therapist tried to explain it, but they used too many sciency words for them to keep up. 

The two of them emerged from the bathroom about ten minutes later. Simon was wearing dark blue jeans and one of Baz's t-shirts -he always wore Baz's shirts. Before, he only ever wore the clothes he was given at the homes and his school uniform. He doesn't know how to dress for himself.-

"You ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay let's go then," Baz shoved a few more things into Simon's bag of stuff and then wrapped his arms around the handles on the wheelchair, wheeling Simon out of the room. 

It took about twenty minutes, as Baz kept getting lost, but they eventually made it outside where Penelope was waiting for them. 

"Hi Simon! Can I hug you or are you still hurt?" 

"I'd like a hug." 

Penelope grinned and waited for Baz to take the bag off. of Simon's lap before pulling him into a tight hug, being careful to avoid his broken ribs. "I missed you so much! Crowley, I'm so glad you're back." 

"Missed you too, Penny." 

"Cmon, the car is parked just over there..." Penelope trailed off, scanning the parking lot with her eyes, trying to remember where she parked the car. 

Baz spotted it first. "There," he pointed to the car, which was almost hidden between two large trucks. 

"Bless you and your enhanced eyesight, I couldn't remember where I parked it for the life of me," Penelope said, grabbing Simon's wheelchair and wheeling him towards the car. 

She was going pretty fast, eager to get Simon home. She wasn't really paying attention to her surroundings, which caused her to wheel Simon over a very large rock. He bounced up in the wheelchair, wincing at the impact of slamming back into it. 

"Shit! I'm so sorry Simon, are you okay?!"

"Yeah, fine. Let's just go," Simon grumbled, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. He hated this. Hated worrying Baz. Hated not being able to walk properly. Hated not being able to think as well as he usually could -which wasn't very well in the first place, but still- Hated worrying Penelope. He hated being this helpless. 

Baz and Penelope shot eachother worried looks. This was so unlike Simon. Simon was always the glue holding the group together, and now it was like he barely acknowledged the fact that there was a group at all. 

Of course, they knew Simon wouldn't be back to normal right away, but it had been almost nine days since he woke up. Plus, he seemed to be getting better the last few days. But now he was acting a bit like a Numptie. Barely forming sentences. Not really engaged in anything going on. 

But they decided to ignore it. Obviously Simon would have his ups and downs, he just got out of a coma. He would be fine eventually. 

The drive home was mostly silent. Well, Baz and Simon were silent. Penelope spent the whole ride talking about everything the two of them had missed while they were cooped up in the hospital. Apparently Niall had gotten himself in trouble -again- for hexing a pair of fifteen year old boys that were annoying him. That was really the only semi-exciting thing that happened in two months. 

Simon didn't really listen. He didn't want to listen to everything he missed out on because he was stupid enough to get taken out by Goblins. Goblins of all things. 

He knew he shouldn't, but he blamed himself entirely. 

____________

"Baz, stop. Please stop fussing. It's been over a month since I left the hospital, I'm fine. You don't need to wait on me hand and foot. As nice as it sounds hypothetically, it's embarrassing. I can take care of myself, okay?"

"But Simon you-"

"Were in a coma. Had broken ribs. Had a few mental break downs. Couldn't walk. Past tense. I'm fine now. That's in the past. So please stop." With the help of a bit of therapy and a few antidepressants, Simon had mostly stopped having those days where he completely shut down. He was getting better at not blaming himself too. And he could walk again, for the most part. His muscles locked up sometimes and he'd fall, but he was pretty much back to normal thanks to a lot of physical therapy. 

"Snow, honestly-"

"No! Stop trying to argue with me!"

"I'm not trying to argue with you!"

"Yes, you are. Everytime I tell you to stop fussing you use the same argument and I'm tired of it! If you don't stop I'll move to California and live with Agatha."

"You wouldn't."

"I wouldn't, but you still need to stop. Seriously."

"I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I am okay, Baz. Honest."

Baz sighed and dropped onto the bed next to Simon, laying on top of the covers. Simon moved so he was halfway on top of Baz, his left hand gripping Baz's t-shirt lightly.

"I don't want you to be my servant. I just want you here next to me. That's all I've ever wanted, Baz."

"So here I'll stay, then."

"Good. I missed having you here. It gets cold."

"I give off no heat, Simon. I can't make it any warmer."

"But you do. I always feel warmer when you're next to me."

"Who knew you were such a hopeless romantic," Baz joked, pressing a light kiss to the top of Simon's head.

"I guess being away from you for a month and half really took a toll on me. I'm making up for lost time."

Baz didn't say anything in reply. He simply wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend, a small barely-there smile on his face.

They were together again. Simon was fine. Baz was fine. 

Everyone was perfectly fine, and Baz had his chosen one back.

**Author's Note:**

> I considered posting the whole story in one chapter but I decided not to.  
> I originally posted this as a 13 chapter story on wattpad, but no one on that stupid app appreciates my work. You guys seem to really like it though so I'm posting it here!!
> 
> Basically, the lines like this _______ between each section is where a chapter would have ended had i kept it a 13 chapter story. yall got 9 chapters in one very long chapter and then the other 4 in another long chapter. 
> 
> Also I have to say I got all of my information about comas from Google so obviously it's not gonna be accurate but I'm hoping no one reading this is a doctor so I won't get called out. 
> 
> Anyways hope you enjoyed thanks for reading!


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